“After watching ‘Maiko Haaaan!!!’, only one word came to mind… Insane! For those who were every curious about what if those crazy, obnoxious characters in an anime can be translated to an actual film, Kimihiko Onizuka epitomizes Japanese comedic insanity!”
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TITLE: Maiko Haaaan!!!
DURATION: 120 minutes
DVD INFORMATION: NTSC, Color, 16:9 (1:85:1) Anamorphic Widescreen, Japanese language with English subtitles
RATED: NOT RATED
COMPANY: Viz Pictures, Inc.
Directed by Nobuo Mizuta
Written by Kankuro Kudo
Produced by Nobuyuki Iinuma, Rikei Kubo
Executive Producer: Seiji Okuda
Director of Photography: Osamu Fujiishi (J.S.C.)
Editor: Shogo Hirasawa
Music: Taro Iwashiro
Lighting: Tatsuya Osada
Production Designer: Tsuyoshi Shimizu
Starring:
Sadawao Abe (as Kimihiko Onizuka)
Shinichi Tsutsumi (as Kiichiro Naito)
Kou Shibasaki (as Fujiko Osawa)
The film centers on a Japanese salaryman named Kimihiko Onizuka (Sadawo Abe, from Kamikaze Girls) who dumps his girlfriend because he believes he can only fall
in love with a Maiko (apprentice Geisha). He decides to pursue his dream of courting a real Maiko in Kyoto. The private Maiko Houses become a social barrier and a rival
who is a millionaire baseball player (Shinichi Tsutsumi) stands in his way. Meanwhile, Kumihiko’s girlfriend (Kou Shibasaki) tries to win him back by leaving Tokyo to become a Maiko herself.
Japanese comedy madness coming from director Nobuo Mizuta and a wild screenplay by “Ping Pong” and “Go” writer Kankuro Kubo comes one of the wildest comedies to come out in Japan.
The film focuses on ramen loud and obnoxious office worker Kimihiko Onizuka (played by Sadawo Abe), an unusual guy who is obsessed with maiko (geisha-in-training).
When Onizuka was a teenager, during a school trip to the Kansai area, his classmates ditch him and as he was lost in town, he is helped by a Maiko. He eventually realizes how beautiful and helpful these women are that in his mind growing up, he wants his life to be closer to the Kansai. That means dating women from Kansai and just wanting to move there.
Onizuka now runs a popular Maiko fan website where he and other photographers are just as fanatic as cosplay photographers and compete in getting the best shot. But during one day at work, someone on his website starts flaming him and Onizuka just gets angry and screaming in the workplace.
And thus the workplace demotes him and sends him to the Kansai area, where a lot of the maiko are located and to him, it’s a positive move to be closer to the area that he wants to be. But not happy for him is his girlfriend Fujiko (played by popular J-pop singer and actress Kou Shibasaki of “Batttle Royale” and “Dororo” fame). Fujiko is so in love with Onizuka but the only reason why he dated her is because she’s from Kansai.
So, Onizuka departs to Kansai and finds out that the people at the office are really not so motivated but that’s OK for Onizuka, as long as he can spend some time with his favorite Maiko and thus tries to get in. He realizes that their is a rule established that first-timers are not allowed. They must be introduced by a regular and thus Onizuka is dejected.
Things change for him though as he realizes from a photo from his website that the company president is a regular. Onizuka tries to befriend the president but the president has no desire to introduce this weird person to the maiko establishments he frequents. Unless he can make the company a lot of money.
Thus Onizuka and his Kansai team start developing plans for “Your Ramen”, you picked the condiments and combined with kansai-style ramen everything will be fine. And everything is fine as they make tons of money and thus proving himself to the company president.
So, finally Onizuka can now become a regular but unbenownst to Onizuka, his ex-girlfriend in Tokyo has followed him to the Kansai area and knowing her ex’s infatuation of maiko, has become a maiko at the same establishment.
During one night with the company president, Onizuka meets famous picture Kiichiro Naito (played by award winning actor Shinichi Tsutsumi), who seems to be a regular and is obnoxious, drunk and always getting into some trouble. But Naito recognizes Onizuka as the webmaster of the Maiko fansite and berates him. Onizuka realizes Naito is the creep flaming him on his website and thus the long battle begins between Onizuka and Naito, as they compete in many types of battles in various industries of who is better than who. From becoming professional baseball players, professional actors, K-1 fighters, politicians and more, Onizuka will do whatever he can to beat Naito.
“Maiko Haaaan!!!” is one of those Japanese films that is a wild comedy. Onizuka’s character reminded me of a crazy anime character in which he thinks of himself wild and cool but everyone seems him as wild, obnoxious, perverted and crazy.   In fact, it’s almost like an anime series that is live. From the dream sequences of Onizuka dancing in a Broadway like performance to the competitions in which Onizuka and Naito try to top each other and just all out crazy.
Suffice to say, I’ve seen weird films, crazy films but “Maiko Haaaan!” is totally insane!
VIDEO & AUDIO:
The video is presented in 16×9 and one thing that you will love about “Maiko Haaaan!!!” is that their are so many areas where the film is shot. Outdoors in the beach, at a baseball stadium and much more. A lot of color is utilized and really interesting cuts that scream “colorful”! But the impressive part of this film was the audio. I was amazed by how each channel was used for the surround sound.  Especially in a segment of the baseball game, hearing the crowd and the noises coming from behind and the dialogue coming from the front. It was very well done!
In fact, the colorful cinematography and the well utilized surround sound definitely enhanced this film’s enjoyability.
SPECIAL FEATURES:
The DVD comes with the original Japanese trailers, the Viz Picture trailers and one major featurette on “The Making of Maiko Haaaan!!!”. In the featurette, we get to see the interviews with the cast, the director and the cast at the movie premiere and an early preview of the premiere to an audience and much more. It’s a pretty lengthy featurette and a good insight of how the film was created and more.
Also, the DVD comes with a film location map in Kyoto. In the map are where 14 scenes from the film were shot. So, just in case anyone wants to visit any of the shrines or the shopping areas, the map is actually quite detailed and should be fun for those wanting to visit the area and discover the Heian Shrine, Chion-in Temple, Yasak Shrine, Teramachi District, Daikoku-ya and more.
As a fan of films written by Kakuro Kudo, it’s always interesting to see what kind of wild film would come out this man’s mind. And “Maiko Haaaan!!!” is just a totally wild and crazy film that, if you’re an anime fan and have watched these crazy characters that are just wild, crazy and obnoxious…and even wondered, what if there was a person in real life like that.
Well, Sadawo Abe accomplishes that as the wild and crazy Onizuka. I’m just surprised of how much of these crazy scenes with him are included in this film, to watch him transform from this maiko-loving person to a corporate marketing tycoon, to a professional baseball player, to an actor in samurai film, to a K-1 fighter to a politician, it’s pretty insane but in a fun way!
But as crazy as the film is, I did have some problems with the actual plot. Onizuka is just too far out, crazy and it seems the goal was to heighten the character’s craziness as the major part of the film. Granted, there is an actual plot and once you feel that the film is about to have some seriousness to it, Onizuka’s character just blows it all up with his craziness. Granted, this was all intentional and to show that Onizuka really doesn’t care about the women, he just cares that they are “maiko” and his obsession for maiko and besting his rival has really clouded his judgment.
The film stars one of the most highly demanded actresses (and singers) in Japan, Kou Shibasaki (who plays the character of Fujiko, Onizuka’s ex-girlfriend). Even when you think that Onizuka will wise up and find out that this woman is for her, his character becomes more like Ataru Moroboshi of “Urusei Yatsura” fame, so blinded by his love for the maiko women and his competition with Naito, he just lives for the moment.
Overall, it’s a fun and insanely zany comedy that is truly entertaining but because it’s so over-the-top, at times, it’s almost like watching Robin Williams and Drew Carey downing some Red Bull and depending on your mood, you will either be entertained by the film or feel that you had a bit too much of Onizuka’s craziness.
As far as the DVD is concerned, film transfer features the colorfulness of the maiko outfits and the overall atmosphere of the Kansai area. But the sound quality and its distribution of sound through the different channels in your home theater was well done.  And I’m glad a lengthy featurette for the film and the Kyoto location map was included. Very cool!
All in all, if you are open to insane Japanese comedy humor, definitely give “Maiko Haaaan!!!” a try!